Center Parcs – getting our bearings
We put the girls in their pram and walked. We had no idea where. The roads were busy with prams and bikes and happy looking families. I hated them all. After ten mins we noticed the rather large Dome. It smelt of food, chlorine and baby shit. Hundreds of bikes and trikes and trailers and prams were padlocked to railings around it. There was also a wild white water rapids stream running very fast around the outer edge in full view of everybody. I knew I was not going to like this. I popped another mint in my mouth and we walked into the stench dome! Our aim was to find Cafe Rouge, order food and wine, find a supermarket and go back to the lodge. Then park the car. Easy.
It was big and busy, with huge palm trees, a kind of sub tropical ‘Oracle’. Small streams ran through the plaza, housing the fattest koi carp I have ever seen. We hurried through the supermarket and stopped in the booze aisle. Pia d’Or, Lindemans, Blossom ruddy Hill. I eyeballed each and every bottle and decided they were all pants. I was gutted. As a non drinker Carolyn had no sympathy and hurried me out. I grabbed a small bottle of Peroni Beer on route and cradled it like a new born. Cafe Rouge was shut, however Hucks American Burger joint was about to open – how delightful! Hound Dog was playing loudly as we were seated in the empty restaurant. My head was pounding, Carolyn had stomach pains and Ruby had shat in her nappy. The spotty dick with a funny hat came to take our order. He smelt of Linx and fags and I decided I did not like him one little bit. We scoffed and legged it back to the lodge. Carolyn settled the girls while I offered to take the car to the car park.
I thought the car park was nearby. It was not. I drove around and around for 20 minutes until I eventually found it. It was miles from our lodge. Fuck it!! I slammed the car door, pulled up my leggings and started the long walk back to Pine 405. I had my high heeled boots on, my feet hurt and my head still pounded. A bike headed my way and I had to jump to the left. I hate outdoorsy people!! As I walked a little further I saw a sign advertising bikes to rent. I paid the man and I hopped on the lady mountain bike with the trailer on the back and began to cycle. It hurt. I felt a prat. But it was the quickest way home. The bike picked up pace down the path to our lodge and the crash brought Carolyn to the front door. Her astonished look said it all. I dismounted. I poured a beer and took a headache pill.
Our lovely big double bed with the view of the forrest, and most beautiful en suite had the twins in it as they refused to sleep in the cots. Our room was a small twin. Carolyn still felt ill from a dodgy pizza the night before and said goodnight. I sat on the sofa wondering if the bike ride had aggitated my piles. I took to my bed and as I snuggled into my crisp white sheets I turned to face the en suite bathroom and heard Carolyn puking her guts up.
What a wonderful start to our holiday I thought. Tomorrow we take the girls swimming. Hurrah!?!?
myfamilyandothermillers 