![our apartment](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/our-apartment.jpg?w=112&h=150)
![fred](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/fred.jpg?w=150&h=112)
![loola and poker](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/loola-and-poker.jpg?w=112&h=150)
![jolyon and the botle of gine](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/jolyon-and-the-botle-of-gine.jpg?w=150&h=112)
![the cough mixture lady](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/the-cough-mixture-lady1.jpg?w=112&h=150)
![the toilet](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/the-toilet.jpg?w=112&h=150)
![jesse and coco](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/jesse-and-coco.jpg?w=150&h=112)
![me and my brothers](https://myfamilyandothermillers.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/me-and-my-brothers.jpg?w=150&h=112)
Tuesday 7th August – Goodbye Cransac
Jolyon ordered a coffee and croissant and ate hastily in front of me. I watched my little brother as he was patted on the back by the locals – all of them quite clearly amazed that he was still alive after the Pastis drinking competition (Fred the alcoholic had still not been seen). Jolyon consumed the adoration with glee and his head became a medicine ball of proudness. I called him a dick and asked if he was ready to leave. He was, apart from something of importance he needed to collect from Jesse. I did not question this. For the first time since our arrival we all felt reasonably OK. Our heads were quite clear and I had no reason to vomit or retch. Jesse came and sat down with us. Our flight was late afternoon so Jesse would pick us up from the apartment at 2pm – he would also give Jolyon the ‘package’. Coco came over to our table and started chatting to me. I nodded and grinned.
We moved outside as the sun was out and took a last look at our surroundings. We agreed that this town was the strangest place we had set foot in. The people, albeit very nice, were clearly missing a brain cell. Most did not work and spent their days in the bar or buying scratch cards. Jolyon sat back and blew out a long cloud of smoke. Then he asked me to ‘trot’ to the newsagent and buy 10 scratch cards – I told him to bugger off and opened up my Ipad. As I wrote some of my thoughts down his grubby ET-like finger suddenly started poking at my screen as he questioned what I was doing and how it worked. In a matter of seconds he had managed to lose everything I had written. I snapped shut my Ipad just missing his finger and announced I was off back to the apartment to check we had packed everything.
The apartment revolted me more than I had ever been revolted before. Jolyon’s dirty smelly sheets adorned the floor. On the table there were piles of loose change, used scratch cards, a line of urine smelling 50 Euro notes and two large cheeses! I wrapped each cheese in a plastic bag and shoved them into his man bag. In the bathroom all his ‘man-stuff’ remained. I.e. his miniature toothpaste, miniature tooth brush, miniature shampoo, conditioner and soap. All stuff he had purchased at the airport. The sink was full of white liquid and whiskers. Without realising it I had stood on the soggy stinking shower towel on the floor. I had no shoes on. I wanted to pinch him.
Jolyon returned as I was just getting into the gymnastics. Jesse arrived on time and gave Jolyon a plastic bag. It contained a clean pair of boxers and trousers which had been washed and beautifully ironed by Coco. He threw them into his man bag on top of the cheese. I smirked.
Jesse got the car and parked outside. I was relieved to see it was his own car. We threw in our belongings and I was kicked to the back seat. We drove 50 yards and then stopped outside the bar so we could wave goodbye to everyone. Fred was there at last and he came out to kiss us goodbye and pat Jolyon on the shoulder. The cough mixture lady waved and then started to cough so violently I thought we may have to call the paramedics. I saw Loola the gypsy swaying from side to side as he walked out of the bar and headed to work in the park. And the man-woman in the oily overalls was managing to smoke and eat her lunch at the same time. Coco rushed over and kissed us all 3 times and said something. I grinned and nodded. And then we set off to the airport.
We arrived and jumped out. The plan was to check in and then have a last snifter with Jesse at the bar. I dragged my heavy bag with all the wine to the check in – Jolyon completely oblivious to the fact I could barely carry it. Jolyon waiting outside the terminal smoking and chatting to Jesse. I prayed my case would go through. It did. The camp French man told me I should hurry up to the departure terminal as the flight was ready to leave. I rushed out to Jolyon and told him we needed to go through now. He was astonished and amazed and utterly distraught that we could not have a final snifter.
We made it through and into the departure lounge. We had to wait 40 minutes for our flight which infuriated Jolyon.
The flight was quick. We managed to consume two glasses of red and then sleep for the journey. Before I could say tie me to the side of a pig and roll me in the mud, we had arrived.
As I slowly walked to the baggage reclaim, Jolyon sprinted pasted me like John Cleese on route to a smoking area and to meet Gilal our driver. Once again I was left to pick up the luggage and carry it back to the car.
I dragged my heavy case along the long corridors and thru passport control, out the door and onto the road where I found Jolyon and Gilal . The sweat was dripping down my cheeks as Jolyon made a menopausal joke. I told him to fuck off and gave my bag to him.
As we drove out of Standsted and headed home I took out a mint and sucked hard. Gilal was still fasting and was so thin I thought he would faint at the wheel. I gently tapped on Jolyon’s shoulder and said that I thought Jesse had really enjoyed our company and that I hoped and prayed his operation would be ok. Jolyon’s response was a grunt and a snore and a wheeze and sneeze so foul I thought he had sprayed the dashboard.
I sat back and fell into sleep until Henley Bridge. I waved at Midge and Graham as we drove passed the Angel on the Bridge, they did not see me.
As I walked through the door I could hear the children screaming. Home Sweet Home. I love Henley!
Fini